Choose To Love (Poem)

is is amazing in this world today

filled with love and hate

what seperates the common one

from the one who is truly great


it is not the wealth in your bank account

or the possessions in your own back yard

but it is instead, what you share from inside

of your loving, compassionate heart


you do not choose to be born black or white

you don't choose to be born rich or poor

you do not choose to be deaf or blind

wishing you had something more


you do not choose with whom you fall in love

you don't choose to be woman or man

you do not choose the family of yours

it is all part of god's great plan


and although for some it's hard to relate

to the differences others endure

keep in mind there are some choices

that make you shallow or pure


you do choose to love or hate

you do choose to follow or lead

you do choose to embrace or ignore

others, in their time of need


some things in life you cannot alter

but your attitude can change, it's true

and by doing so you can affect

the people who look up to you


the meaning of life is greatest mystery of all

but the answer is easily found

it is unconditional love for all humankind

who walk on our common ground

How to Select a Gift for a Guy

Getting gifts for men is not too difficult. Deciding what to get a man usually involves finding out what his hobbies and favorite "toys" are. When in doubt go with something practical; something that helps him work, study, play, or relax: tools, sports tickets, & books. Stay away from clothes generally, and - here's the big difference from getting gifts for women - stay well away from "decorative" items (e.g. vases, pictures, posters, statuettes, things that hang off the rear-view mirror, bumper-stickers, etc). If it's someone you care about or your boyfriend,you can buy him something that reminds him of special moments that you shared or special words between the two of you (for ex. like a chain with a cross if he likes to pray).

STEPS

Do not hesitate to ask what his wishes are. If you want to surprise him then be attentive at what he is often talking about and try to "take notes" and deductively figure out the thing that he currently wishes.

Consider the guy's general lifestyle: Is he a sports fan? Workaholic? Student? Survivalist? Partier? Fitness/health enthusiast? These are some extremely broad and silly categories, but they will help you narrow him down.

Think about his age and social/financial status; obviously if he's well off enough to afford whatever toys he wants, you're better off getting one really, really top-notch item, rather than several cheaper ones that he might consider inferior.

Consider your budget and how much would be appropriate to give based on your relationship (i.e. don't be creepy by spending more than $30 on the guy unless you are good friends or family). Some men might feel uncomfortable receiving a gift worth more than $30 from a casual acquaintance.

Think about items that are related to his hobbies, although they don't have to be directly related. For example, if the man you're buying a gift for is a diver, you could get him a recently published guidebook to diving hotspots around the world or locally. If he's a model train man, you'll need to learn more about his collection before you try to give gifts appropriate to it. Why, you might purchase him a Canadian Pacific Railway caboose when all his trains are pre-1970s Southern US!

If he's an activist (political/environmental/social), consider a subscription to a newsletter or website run by an activist group where part of your gift will go to causes he cares about, or try giving him a reciept for a donation in his name to a charity you know he supports (he can use it as a direct tax-writeoff, plus he'll know you want to care about what he cares about).

If he's an egoist, try something with his name engraved on it (hardwood cigar case, leatherbound book, etc).

If he likes to party, see about buying him a VIP Membership for one of his favorite clubs or bars.

If he's a sports fan, it's hard to go wrong with event tickets or something autographed by a player you know he likes (check online auctions for these). Please take into account that being a man does not necessarily equal sports fan, however.

If he's a music buff, and you understand anything about it, try tickets to the local philharmonic, or a band concert in the genre he likes (you should probably avoid CDs/Tapes unless you're really sure of what he has and/or wants).

TIPS

Some people choose fairly universal gifts for guys such as whiskey or cigars. These kinds of gifts are very impersonal and indicate you don't really know the person, while still showing that you want to appear "sophisticated". You will usually see this kind of gift either from an employer or a very young and inexperienced woman. At least make sure that he's a smoker before getting him cigars, because if he is not, you've just become lame in his eyes. A lot of guys who don't smoke would be offended getting cigars as a present!

Good alternatives to an unmemorable cash gift that are still completely universal are gold or silver coins (depending on your budget and knowledge). These may not add to one's savings, but can be kept in a bank safe for a rainy day, sold for cash, or displayed. Moroever, gold and silver coins are just a plain neat gift to get.

Make sure your gift is something that he will actually use. Don't buy it at the Hallmark store. Stay right out of there. Pay attention to what his needs are and shop accordingly. You may even have to make the gift or solution, or your gift may not even be an object. Think outside the gift-box!

There are lots of alternative if you do not have much money: for example, taking him for nachos or organising something with friends. Otherwise, you can make a mix CD.

You could also buy him something of sentimental value, such as a poster or just a quality card.

You could also make him a card, because it has even more sentimental value than a bought one, and it might also be cheaper and more creative!

A book on a topic he's interested in is a good choice, especially if he likes to read (though be careful, if he is quite into his hobby and the book you're thinking about getting is a well-known reference, he might already have it). If he's not such a big reader, a book with great color photographs or nifty diagrams to page through is quite suitable.

WARNINGS

Avoid clothes unless you *really* know what you're doing. Like anyone, most guys have their own preferences in clothes and if you get a man something he doesn't like, he will potentially feel resentful because he might feel forced to either wear something he considers ugly or risk offending you by never wearing your gift.

You can take some of the pressure off of him by saying, "If it's not what you want you can return it. I won't mind at all."

Some men will feel uncomfortable receiving a gift worth more than $30 from a casual acquaintance. (It may seem like a come-on or bribe, depending on your relationship with the guy in question). It can also make you seem desperate.

As always, don't push it! A guy can be easily disturbed if you rain gifts on him!

How to Hint to a Boy That You Like Him

So you like your best guy friend, but of course, all boys are slow when it comes to realizing they are liked. So why don't you just ask him out? Well, call you crazy, but for some reason asking out one of your best friends is a hard thing to do. So to get them to make the first move, here's what you have to do.

STEPS

Flirt with the boy - This is an obvious sign to almost anybody that you like them, especially when you are not the flirtatious type and all of a sudden you're flirting a lot with that guy. Trying teasing him, dissing them when they've set themselves up (but don't be too mean), touching them lightly, laughing at his jokes, and joking around with him. Flirting is the key to opening the door to a new relationship.

Give him a gift - Since the two of you are friends, this shouldn't be that awkward, but this only really works if you haven't done this before. Also, instead of buying something he likes, make some craft and give it to him, like an MP3 holder out of an old jean pocket. That shows more sincerity than an expensive item, which is usually a little over-the-top, if you know what I mean.

Exchange looks in classes - When the two of you are in the same class, look at him from wherever you're sitting and if/when he catches you, turn away and blush. Also, if he catches you looking at him, smile at him and maybe wink at him, although this could be taken as a friendly gesture.

Call him more than you regularly do - When you call him, find excuses to talk to him, like asking him what the homework was. Then start a conversation for a long time, and hang on his words and extend the conversation. Talk about something weird that happened in school, and remember little details that he mentions and use them to bring up a new conversation. For example, if he tells you he was going out of town somewhere, call him and ask him how the trip went.

Have a friend tell him you like him, but without them telling him that you told them to tell him - If you don't understand what I just said, ask a good friend(s) who you know you can trust to say to him that you like him. The more friends who tell him that, the more he'll believe it.

Tell his friends that you like him - Eventually at some time or the other, his friends will bring it up to him. But do not tell them not to tell because first of all you do want them to tell, and if they tell him that you told them not to tell, it can backfire. This is best when done with Step 5.

Be near him - In classes, if seating is optional, sit next to him. This is one of the more harder things to do, but it will guarantee him to know that you like him. Also sit next to him at lunch as many days as possible. Finally, join the clubs that he's in, unless they're like some boys sports teams.

Compliment you're flirting with complements (I guess that's an okay pun) - When he gets a haircut or a new pair of shoes, etc., ask him where he got it. But be sincere. And don't make it seem corny. For example, don't just one day while you're talking to him say "I like your eyes." Yes, that will hint to him that you like him, but it's creepy and a turn-off.

TIPS

Learn how to flirt. There are great wikihows on that.

For your birthday party, go to the movies with all of your friends and invite him. Sit next to him during the movie. It's almost like a date.

WARNINGS

If you're going to use these steps, DO NOT PLAY HARD TO GET!! This will leave him totally confused and he will only become more unsure. In fact, don't play hard to get in the first place.

Stay friends no matter what shape or form the friendship is in.

Don't be a phony.

How to Ask a Girl Out

When you would like to ask a girl out, just find the right time and place to ask. Sometimes you will just be hanging out, talking, when you feel you would like to make a date with her. If you do not really know her, but have seen her in school, or with other friends you know, then it might take a little more effort, but it certainly can be done. Give her a compliment. Talk with her about your similarities and differences. Once you feel comfortable about it, do it. Or go up to her and say "You know... I really, really like you and I was wondering if you would maybe go out with me?" It will probably work.

STEPS

Make sure that the girl is someone you honestly feel for, not just a crush and make sure she's SINGLE. Breaking a girl's heart means they might encourage other girls not to go out with you.

Find out about the activities and hobbies she likes, but always be mindful. The more you know about her interests, the more things you will have to talk about. Try and talk as much as you can about interesting things, but don't over talk at first. Try to find things in common with one other.

Approach the girl you like. Try to dress fairly decently, but don't overdo it. For example, if you're a T-shirt and jeans person, wear that. Do not show up wearing a suit and tie, because you want her to like you for you, and you don't want to give her any false ideas. Look somewhat decent, showing that you are trying. Don't show up wearing over-powering cologne; two squirts is enough. Just enough for her to notice you when talking to you but not for somebody across the room to notice.

Greet her in whatever fashion you normally would, but remember, being overly cordial or more relaxed than she knows you to be, can reveal to her that you are trying too hard and therefore are not confident with being yourself, which will mirror that same anxiety within her, ruining your chances. In other words, be yourself. The greeting is what sets the precedent for who you are. If the greeting creates an odd situation where there is a bit of personality clash, it can ruin your entire chance. Traditionally, following the greeting is the conversation. Reiterating from before, it's important to be yourself, so talk about subjects that you are interested in, and give responses to how you genuinely feel. Honesty is much, much more than just telling the truth, it's about showing people you live a life other than theirs and have sovereign ideas, thoughts and feelings.

Gauge her interest. Make eye contact, smiling, laughter, and enthusiasm in her responses. Learn to read women's body language.

Ease into your invitation. After you have been talking for awhile, and it is obvious that both of you "click", invite her to be involved with you in an activity. Almost any activity is perfectly suitable. Mundane activities like grocery shopping or more exhilarating ones like snowboarding are great ways for her to get to know you, although inviting her for having coffee at a Cafe, or even a drink at a bar are not only great ideas, but traditional as well. After you and she have had the opportunity to "feel" each other out, find a time in the conversation where it would be appropriate to ask her out. The way you would ask her is quite simple in fact. An example would be: "Hey I'm going/doing ACTIVITY this weekend. How would you like to tag along? I promise it'll be more interesting than whatever you had planned." Say this with a small smile, teasingly. Do NOT use cheesy pickup lines, as they are not you. The example doesn't have to be followed verbatim, you can ask it in whatever way you feel is comfortable, but the important part is that you make a time to see her, and ask if she wants to come with you.

Spend time with her and a group of other people (not a one-on-one date). This will make her feel more comfortable as it's not as intense as being out as a couple.

Make sure that you're asking out this girl not just for her looks, but for her personality. If you just ask her out because she is "hot" , then things won't work out for a long period of time. If she is a good friend of yours, don't make her feel uncomfortable, but ask her out & tell her that you really like her.

Ask her when you two are ALONE. Having others around you will stir pressure on her to say yes or no. Also, make sure the girl you are asking out is genuine and will really like you - not just because she has a good figure or is popular.

TIPS

Have fun - don't try to be serious all the time! Most of them like to have some fun every now and then.

Before you meet her, make a list of creative ways to ask the girl out. Then pick the best one. One way you could do this without it being awkward is when the two of you are hanging out, you just say, "Hey, (insert girl), I'm hungry. Do you want to go to (insert restaraunt)?" and maybe wink right after to hint that it's actually a date.

Make eye contact.

Be extremely nice and treat her with respect. This is a must. If you can't treat a girl right, don't even bother trying.

Become her friend. This is half the battle, and at the very worst at least you have one more friend than you had before.

Make sure her past relationship is completely over and done with.

Be calm and confident. If you're sweating and stuttering, that girl will feel nervous about going out with you. Girls want guys that are confident, but not cocky.

Some girls prefer to be called "sexy" or "hot." Others prefer to be called "lovely" or "beautiful." Make sure you don't use the wrong word. There are other good ones too like "stunning," "irresistible," "really something," "gorgeous," "a hottie," "radiant", etc. Try not to get stuck on just one.

Some girls don't care what a guy who she doesn't know thinks of her looks.

Practice talking to her. If you feel uncomfortable talking to her, you probably aren't ready to ask her out.

Think of subjects to discuss on the date; stories about yourself (not gross ones!), things you want to know about her, etc. in advance

Being relaxed and confident is the difference between a comfortable silence and an unbearable silence. It's natural to have breaks in the conversation. Don't sweat it.

Don't ask your friends to do it. You will have a better chance coming from you.

If you get nervous when you go to ask her out, don't worry about it. Some girls actually think this is cute.

Smell nice when you go to ask her out! Smell is a big turn off! At least put on some deodorant, and don't overdo the cologne (some find it offending). Also, be careful about wearing strong aftershave. Some girls like the smell, while others don't. Just make sure you know if she likes/dislikes it.

Girls hate it when you have a friend ask them out. Otherwise, they get all confused and will not talk to you if she doesn't know the real deal.

If you are not sure if it's the right thing to do don't do it. You want a girl you know is interested in you so don't rush.

Joking around with her, even if it's in your nature, isn't always the best thing to do when asking her out. Show her that you can go outside of your element for her. Besides, if you're already laughing and you bring it up stupidly (ex. saying "Oh yeah, we should go out.") then she may not take it seriously.

Don't be afraid of rejection! Most girls have big hearts and will let you down very easily, if at all. Some girls agree to one date just because you asked and they're being nice. Don't take it the wrong way, it simply means she likes you enough to not hurt your feelings but not enough that she's ready for a relationship.

Try Double Dating when you first go out. If you can't drive it's a great idea, because would you rather your mom take you? I didn't think so. It also relieves pressure for the girl and can keep you out of sticky situations. If you're nervous, having a cool older friend that you're comfortable with and their date can help you feel relax and have a better time.

Remember the three P's of dating. For it to be a date it has to be Planned Ahead, Paid for, and Paired Off. Have a plan, don't go out there winging it because you'll do something stupid. If you're a guy, be a man and respect the girl enough to pay for her. Paired off, you don't have to be completely exclusive but it allows the date to be loyal to you in all the activities which leads to deeper bonds and deeper trust.

If the girl says "No," don't get really annoyed and show it. If you don't get annoyed and still get to know her better and then you ask again in about a couple of weeks she might say yes (if this doesn't work just give up)

Let her know that you really like her or else she might think you just want to have a short relationship.

Have fun. No girl wants to be with a guy who is boring.

be confident.it's a little weird when someone starts to stutter and say um alot.

When you do approach the girl, try not to start the conversation by a "Hey, can I talk to you?" or a "Can I ask you something?". Don't ask her out randomly, but these lines are giant hints that you are about to ask her out. Can be awkward.

Another thing by the same guy who said not to e-mail ask, ask her out, most people are scared, do you know why, because of the big NO, don't worry, if you really really love her it should work for you.

Don't wait! There is never a perfect time.

If you went out with a girl and she broke up with you then DO NOT ask one of her close friends to go out with you less than a month later. She will say no because she's not sure if your friend will be cool with you two going out.

Ask her out a few months later (e.g. If you asked a girl out in November, then you should probably ask her out in late January)

If you are looking at her and she starts to turn towards you don't turn and look in the opposite direction. It can make her think you are not confident and you will never get her.

DO NOT let her know you read this. It will almost definitely make you seem like you aren't confident enough to try it yourself.

And if you want to read her body language but don't want her to notice if she sits in front of you in a class you could look at her but you have to make sure you pay attention so you don't get in trouble.

And if you break up with her but she really likes you, you could say "I really hope we can still be friends." Because if you don't she would get very upset and think you might never want to talk to her again.

Smile most of the time when you want to ask her out, girls love guys who smile.

WARNINGS

If you give her a note, leave it in her locker, because it gives her time to think about it before she gets around to answering it. Remember, dates are about seeing if you think you would have a chance with someone!

Try to be mature around her! No girl likes a guy who tells cheesy jokes or plays with food!

Absolutely don't ask in front of anyone else, because it might embarrass her.

Keep your hands to yourself! Trying to get physical with a girl right away just tells her that you consider her to be an object and not an actual person.

Be persistent, but not too persistent. If she turns you down gently, then she's politely telling you she's not interested. If she flat out refuses, back away. You don't want any girl to think you're a stalker.

If you have to ask her out through a friend, you will get a "no" by default. Girls do not enjoy hearing, "Hey! I'm asking you out for (Name of guy). He doesn't like you enough to overcome his lack of confidence." They will hear this regardless of how tactful your friend is, unless her friend is a very close friend to both you and herself.

Do not ask right away; you will always get a "no" just because she can always say she doesn't know you well enough. This one is big, get to know them well, then when you're both ready, ask her out cool and calm, and never try to kiss her on a first date unless you're positive that you both want to.

Do not try to buy her the world on the first date (e.g. teddies, etc.) because she might not want to develop the relationship.

Don't keep prying at a rejection. It's okay to ask how come if she says no, but don't be invasive.

Make sure you don't have bad breath! If you do they will assume that you do most of the time! Be careful, be clean!

It wouldn't be the best choice to ask a girl out by e-mail because she might think you're to scared to ask her out in person. But it would be ok if you guys weren't going to see eachother for a while and you wanted to ask her out before somebody else scooped her up.

Find out about the activities and hobbies she likes but try not to get to know her to much because when the time comes she might think of you as just a friend.

Don't talk about your class.

Don't look anywhere else while you're talking to her, this is considered rude and she might brush you off for it.

How to Get a Guy to Like You

Do you want a guy to be crazy about you, the way you are about him? While you can't make someone feel a certain way, you can definitely put your best foot forward and give his feelings a chance to develop. Here are some helpful hints on how to charm a guy, while still being yourself.

STEPS

Like yourself - Whether you're goofy, silly, crazy, quirky, smart, reserved, or whatever, how can you expect a guy to like you if you don't like yourself? You've got to show this person how awesome you are, but first you need to know how awesome you are. Build up your self confidence. Now, this doesn't mean you have to be loud, boisterous, arrogant, chatty, or forward. It just means getting to a place where you're comfortable in your own skin. You can be secure, sweet and humble all at the same time. Guys like confident, interesting girls who have their own lives. The only guys who like insecure girls are the ones who are insecure themselves. But who wants to be with a guy who wants a girl to feel bad about herself? That's not healthy, and you deserve better.

Get his attention - He can't fancy you if he doesn't know you exist. If you haven't caught his eye yet, then get him to notice you. You've got to walk before you run, right? Introduce yourself somehow and make conversation. Take an interest in who he is--what he likes, where he's coming from, where he wants to go--and show him who you are, too. While some guys don't like to talk that much, it's nearly impossible for someone to like you if he doesn't get to know you--unless he "likes" you for all the wrong reasons.

Crack a joke - Having a good sense of humor makes everything better. That doesn't mean you should be a giggling fool, laughing at everything that crosses your path. Express your sense of humor in your own way. Some people are witty and sarcastic, others can tell hilarious stories, and many people just do quirky things and poke fun at themselves. No matter what tickles your sense of humor, it's much easier to like someone who you can have a good laugh with once in a while. If you don't find something to laugh about together, then maybe you'll discover that you don't like him after all!

Do things together - If he loves rock-climbing, ask him if he can show you how, and make a good-faith effort to see why he's so into it. Have an open mind. Find out what you have in common, and include him in your world. If you love a certain kind of music, ask him if he's ever listened to a particular artist and offer to play a CD for him. Finding activities that you can enjoy together can really lay down a bond and further his appreciation of you.

Have patience - These things take time. You can't force someone to like you, and trying to hurry things up can ruin the courtship altogether. Give him some space and don't be obsessive. Let things progress at a natural pace, or fade out of natural causes. Eventually he'll tell you one way or another whether or not he's interested in reciprocating your affection. And if he's not, don't hang around him like a lost puppy. Sometimes you might be incompatible in ways that you don't see, and sometimes a guy just isn't ready for a long term relationship. Don't take rejection too personally. It happens. Not everyone in the world is going to like you. Move on! There are other fish in the sea and if you followed the first step, you know that you're a good catch.

TIPS

Be an all-around great person. If you focus on being a clean, motivated, kind, and humorous individual, how can anyone resist? Some guys might be intimidated, and they're too insecure to be worth your interest anyway. But it's only a matter of time before a guy who can like you for who you really are will come around and see that you're an awesome person to be around.

Some people prefer being friends first, others prefer to avoid the "just a friend" zone. Ideally, you can be a little bit of both--a friend and a romantic interest.

Keep in mind that you cannot control what other people think and do. He may be the object of your interest, but that does not create any obligation that you be his. Turn the situation around. If there was some random guy who took an interest in you, is there anything that he could do to make you like him? Probably not. You will like him or not. You will find him attractive or not. You will find him funny or not. All he can do is try to be the best person he can be, and hope that you agree. The reverse is also true. Be the best person you can be, and let it develop--or not--from there.

Don't talk about your other prospective guys with the guy you're interested in. It's just not good form, and it's a good way to get rid of him.

If there is no sign of him being interested in you, that doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't interested. He could just be shy, or be a little frightened, especially if he hasn't dated anyone for a long time.

WARNINGS

Don't play stupid mind games or send mixed signals. This confuses the guy and has tons of potential for embarrassment.

If your friends aren't the most mature, do not tell them about him. They will immediately start staring at him and start giggling and chatting and so on. No matter what you say to them, they will look at him. The worst case scenario is when your friends go off on their own and start pestering the guy with a whole lot of questions that all sound a lot like 'What do you think of Jessica?'. This will send him packing.

Trying too hard to "get" a specific person to like you can be manipulative, something that no one finds attractive or wants to be the object of.

If these steps work a little too well and he comes on too strong, let him know to take it easy and don't do anything you feel uncomfortable with.

Don't confuse kindness with him liking you. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, but be attentive and you'll figure it out.

If he is dating someone else, he is completely off limits. Respect him by not tempting him to get involved with someone else.

How to Show a Woman That You Care

Have a special someone in mind? Wish to strengthen a friendship or relationship? Follow these simple steps to show a woman that you care for her.

STEPS

Pay attention to her. Every time she is speaking to you, make an effort to look her in the eyes and understand what she is saying. If you do not understand, tell her. This will show her that you are listening and would like to hear what she has to say.

Be trustworthy. Prove yourself to her daily. If you give her your word that you will be there for her, follow through. How can anyone care for someone they lie to?

Respect her mind, body, and soul. She is a different individual. There are many paths of life and hers may be differing from yours. Accept her and cherish her for who she is.

Perform random acts of kindness. Be creative. Call her when you guys are not together and tell her that you are thinking about her. Paste a note on her mirror telling her that you love her. A picture is worth a thousand words, paint her a watercolor. Leave her a flower and a sincere note.

Spend quality time with her. Turning off the T.V., grabbing a blanket, and lying with her beneath the stars can mean more than expensive jewelry.

Let her know exactly how you feel. Look within. Exactly what does this woman mean to you? Write it down. Give it to her.

When you are away, whether it be a business trip, or a vacation with the guys, check in with her. It's just polite! Let her know that although you're having fun, she has crossed your mind,

Never lose contact for a unreasonable time, if you have not seen her for a few days, let her know you are thinking about her, Girls love this.

TIPS

Women are different from men. While a man's focus may be on the physical aspects of a relationship, showing a woman that you respect and care for the sensual things will go a very long way.

Never lie to her. Lying to a woman is a sure way to lose her respect.

Step in and help her without being asked. Show her that you are there for her.

Guys are actually very sensitive when it comes down to some things, so some of this may just be common sense.

Read an ebook called "100 Ways to Show Your Love & Affection" by Gloria D. Heffner gives great ideas to add or keep the romance, love & affection in a relationship. The ideas can be tailored to your or your partner's personality(ies).

Remember women multi-task (i.e. balancing work and family)

Turn off the TV and turn on the romance!

WARNINGS

Be sincere in all that you do. Never do something for a woman just because you feel that you are "duty-bound." Acts of kindness must come from within, never from obligation. You can do it!

How to Be a Good Girlfriend

So, you've landed the guy of your dreams. Finding a great boyfriend is hard. Now that you've found him, make sure that you are a great girlfriend, so that you can make him happy and he can enjoy the relationship with you.

STEPS

Take it slow. Don't cook a three-course meal for the first date. Don't push him to call you his girlfriend after a couple dates. Don't start talking about marriage and children. Just allow the process to take its course and enjoy it!

Be honest. While being honest to your mate is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you be honest to yourself. And, yes, in a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy.

Have a positive attitude. If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he will not look forward to seeing you. However, you don't always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships. No matter what, have a sense of humor. Have inside jokes together. Be spontaneous. Be happy.

Be considerate. This is so important for any relationship because men are naturally insecure and there is nothing better to them than feeling like their girlfriend does everything with them in mind. Of course you should get this from him too!

Communicate regularly to avoid misunderstandings. If he hurts your feelings, find a way to tell him.

Make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with his. You don't and shouldn't exist solely to please him. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person.

Be consistent. What exasperates men most in a relationship is having to go back and forth between moods, and having to tolerate irrationality.

Be patient. Don't automatically think he didn't hear you when you said 'i love you.

Take an interest in his interests. You don't have to act like you love football, but at least try to understand why he's such a fan.

Buy him simple, unexpected gifts for no special reason once in a while. The thought is always appreciated and it makes the guy feel as if you really do care and love him. Some good gift ideas could be a new music CD he's been dying to get, a book or something else that he'll really like and will be surprised by. Guys like to be surprised with little gifts too.

Make him something. A paper flower, an artsy heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so whenever he looks at it he'll think of you and smile.

Let him live his life. If you feel entitled to all of his time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Remember that he doesn't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When he needs some space, don't take it personally.

Remember to always be there when he needs a hug, or a kiss. Body contact is very important, and always warms up a relationship. But if he wants to do things you don't you absolutely have to tell him. If he cares about you, he will respect this!

Be yourself. play around with him and have fun!!

TIPS

Keep in mind: the road will be difficult and he won't ask directions. As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of team work and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back.

Don't stop spending time with your girlfriends, they are necessary as to provide shoulders to cry on when you feel like your relationship is slipping away. If you and the boyfriend break up, they will still be there to say "We're here for you", so don't neglect them. Plus, spending some time apart will make him that much more glad to see you when you DO get together.

Dress sexy once in a while. Don't do this too often but surprise him now and then with a hot outfit, which you buy with your own money. Nothing pumps a man's ego more than knowing that he's got a pretty girl by his side.

If your boyfriend is acting Passive towards you when starting a new relationship (like not buying you stuff or not saying sweet things to you or not kissing you) it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. It most likely means he is shy and has never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. To solve this problem you can talk to him about acting that way, perhaps he's expecting you to take more initiative because you have had more experience with relationships than he has.

Avoid having a "one track" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together.

If he says he loves you more, argue over that! It's a simple way of flirting with him. It'll prove that you really do love him.

WARNINGS

Don't cheat,this will surely cause him to break it off with you,or in the least create major trust issues for the future.

Also, don't cheat on him expecting that it will cause him to pay more attention to you. He'll just dump you.

Don't conduct "secret tests" on your boyfriend to see what he'll do. It's humiliating, disrespectful and unfair, and you wouldn't want him to do that to you.

It's fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about him, but remember to be respectful of him by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don't kiss and tell!) You can keep your girlfriends "updated" on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place (which are never your fault), in which case tell them everything.

Jealousy is a very dangerous thing. Don't intentionally make him jealous. That will result with a lot of problems and difficulties within your relationship. Remember, that you need to avoid jealousy as well.

Try to get along with his friends and family. These are most likely things that mean a lot to him, and him having good opinions about you from people he cares about will mean a lot. Try making friends with his friends, and his siblings. Make sure your respectful to his parents, and make sure they like you. Try doing little things, like becoming close with his sister or going shopping with his mom.

How to Be a Good Boyfriend

There are articles that tell how to sweep a girl off her feet, or how to flirt, or what-not, but there are none that explain how to be a good boyfriend. This is an important skill to learn, as it will possibly make both you, and your mate happier. Every person is different. This is not a "one-size-fits-all" guide. This does however, give a good starting point for any relationship.

STEPS

Be honest. Being honest to your mate is very important, in a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy. Tell the truth even when it hurts! It may be difficult, but the truth will allow relationships to breathe. No matter what happens, no one can ever challenge the fact that you are truthful, which might mean that the other person also gives you the same respect. If something doesn't suit them let them know, otherwise they will not trust your opinion. But make it sound like a compliment. Suggest an alternative, and attach praise to the alternative. For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on (trying on, not already wearing at a party!) let them know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favourite so far because it shows off their great (insert their best feature here—a feature that both of you like, not just you). Also, if they ask you, "Do you think I'm beautiful?" answer them honestly, but not rudely. If you think they are pretty, then say so, but don't say " You are ugly."

Remember that girls are often raised to be much more emotionally oriented than men. However, remember that unless your mate suffers from physical ailments that affect their mood, the mood swings that appear to be random for you may very well have significant reasons that you're just unaware of. After all, your partner is an entire person, with a lifetime of experiences, associations and memories, and emotional expressions result from a combination of factors which they may or may not be aware of. The best thing you can do is not take it personally, and try to help them discover and understand why their mood has taken a turn for the worse.

Don't brush them off. People often find it exasperating when they get the feeling their partner treats them as an inferior in a relationship. Women are no exception. A lot of women have been taught that the only way to get attention when their partner is trying to ignore them is to act more emotional and be louder until the partner finally surrenders and pays attention to her, even if in annoyance. If people feel they're being given the cold treatment by people who are supposed to be important to them, they get worried. Especially as it distinguishes them from you without giving an explanation for why this disturbance has occurred. People aren't mind readers. Your mate is not likely to be able to guess that you're cranky just because they wouldn't let you do something that they felt was very trivial, whereas you found it important. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say "I'm feeling really irritated right now. Can we talk about this later after I cool off a bit?" (Don't forget to follow through and actually give her your time later.)

Communicate. Do not talk their ear off, however make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, they are made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature. Zone out everything around you when you're talking to them. If you ask them a question, ask them because you really want to know. For example, ask them what type of movies they enjoy, or about one of her favourites. If you know it, talk about it a little bit in an honest way, what you thought of it, and make a guess at why they might have liked it. Even if you are wrong, your mate will usually love the fact that you are interested enough to try. It's also a good thing to keep in mind that for a guy, it's better to listen than to talk. Girls enjoy it when their mate respondes to their comment, but they really just like having someone to talk to who will listen. Remember, the opposite of talking is not waiting, it's listening. Make sure you're actually listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk.

Give gifts as a surprise. Anyone can buy a gift for a birthday, Christmas or an anniversary. Listen to them when you are out window shopping, and if there is something they like, and it's within your price range, remember it and surprise them with it when they least expect it, for no reason at all. Or pick something up on your way home from work, and tell them you were thinking of them when you saw it. It doesn't have to be big or expensive--a book you know they will like, or a CD of their favourite band are ideal gifts.

Mix things up. Go to a new restaurant, try a new nightclub or go to a new part of town. Even if you both end up hating it, it's an experience you can share and that's what it's all about isn't it? Creating memories together. Surprise them by doing something offbeat--think less maudlin and more personal. This includes anything from racing them to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing them a tub of LEGO and encouraging their immediate use. You two should grow to be comfortable with each other, and doing things together without self-consciousness. Ideally, they should never feel stupid around you for wanting or doing a particular thing.

Compliment them sincerely. Find something particular and compliment them on it, but mean it. Don't just say, "You look nice". Say "That really makes your eyes flash", "Your hair cut really suits the shape of your face" or "That makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss their neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.

Earn her trust. Put off a vibe that tells them that they can tell you anything. Make her feel safe.

STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE!! Sometimes, in order to get things going, you need to be the one to step out of the comfort zone. If she's into the public display of affection thing, and you're..well...not, just once, at least put your arm around her or hold her hand. Just do something that doesn't go too far out there for you, and more than likely, she will do the same thing for you for whatever else. Remember: The least bit of effort could go a long way and is very much appreciated.

Be a gentleman. Even the stuff that seems silly can make a great impression. Hold doors, pull out chairs, things like that. No matter what the media tells you they want, their heart will always go to the gentleman.

When your mate calls you or asks you to call them back, just do it. They probably only want to ask you about your night or talk to you about something real quick. If you don't call them back, they just might keep calling which will probably annoy you. So even if it's 4:30 in the morning and you suddenly remember when you get up to go pee, then call them; they'll like the fact that you did, even if they're asleep. Now if your mate calls you obsessively, that's your own problem to deal with!

If you plan a date, whether you're going somewhere fancy or just to the movies and you can't make it, again just tell them. Yes, they might be mad at you (more disappointed then anything), but you not calling for fear of their response will make them even more mad. BE A MAN! If you keep canceling though, yes we understand why they're mad.

Show some emotion sometimes. You don't necessarily want to be all over your mate or be a whiny baby but be open about when you're happy versus when you are sad. If you have something to be mad about, just tell them. The thing about girls? They love to talk about feelings (well most of them) and they're willing to listen. Your mate will not think any less of you if you show emotion; don't worry -- you're still a man!

Mates have a tendency to do favors, leave notes and gifts and just be all around sweet. Yes this can be embarrassing, but realize they just want to do something nice for you, so at least act like you appreciate it. Once in a while make an effort to surprise them. Not necessarily with diamonds and rubies or with 100 dollar meals and fancy gifts, but with just taking the time to do something small and unexpected for them. Give her dog a bath or change that light bulb that's been out for weeks.

No need to be all romantic, some of the sweetest memories will be the things that you say or where you went or what you buy them; sure that does stick in our memory but there are more important things!

Don't get jealous easily. You don't want your mate to freak out if you talk to another person, so don't freak out when they're talking to another guy; besides, you never know -- it could be a brother, uncle, cousin.

Don't judge them by her clothes or the way they look. They may not always feel like spending an hour plucking, tweezing, clipping this, applying that. Make sure they know they can relax and be themselves with you. Don't make them feel like they always have to look like a celestial being.

Take care of yourself! Women want to be with someone who can successfully balance their personal life with work or school. Nothing scares them away faster than someone they constantly need to remind to do laundry, take a shower, or get to work on time. It is okay to turn the volume down on the relationship occasionally to accomplish something that needs to get done... we understand! We admire your initiative and hard work.

Cuddle with her. Let her know that you care, and you want to be close to her. Put your arm around her and hold her hand/rub her leg. If your at the kissing stage, then give her a little hint that you want to kiss, and if she wants to, then you're set.

Being a good boyfriend is sacrificing your own happiness for your girlfriend's happiness.GIRLS HATE IT WHEN YOU ALWAYS TRY TO CONTROL THEM.Let them be happy. Girls appreciate it when you show them your love,care and trust.

TIPS

Be accommodating. If there is something they like to do, but you don't really like it, do it anyway, and don't complain. You will probably find that you enjoy doing the activity because you're with them.

Most guys are unaware, but most people love guys with manners. Hold the door for them, pull out their seat, and offer to pay sometimes (though allow her to pay if they are insistent).

Playing hard to get doesn't work for most guys. Tell the person you love that you do and keep reminding them.

Most women have that time of the month. Be as supportive as you can because your mate might be grumpy and/or in pain but they want your love and you have to be there for them. Nonetheless, do not explicitly mention the time of the month to her - a woman hardly enjoys knowing that the world can tell.

If they are agitated, be nice to them, and don't get ticked off. Remember, they are not actually mad at you, or annoyed at you. They are just going through a hard time. Just let it roll off of you, like water off a duck.

Keep in mind: the road will be difficult. As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of team work.

Make sure you're clean and looking good... People will notice if you put some thought into your appearance.

Call her just to say you are thinking about her. DON'T CALL HER ALL OF THE TIME. But BE SURE TO CALL HER AT ALL.

Don't just do things on the weekend. Make dates for during the week too. Even if it's sitting on the couch watching t.v. She will appreciate that you want to spend time with her.

If they ask, "Does this make me look fat," and it is not flattering to them, say: "I don't think it is as flattering to your beautiful body as ___" and suggest an alternative.

Treat them like you normally do around your friends or else they will feel like you're embarrassed to date her.

Cook her a delicious meal. Any man can pay cash for a dinner at a fancy restaurant but it takes a special man to cook a homemade meal from the heart to his sweetheart.

Remember, friends and family can be a strong influence on someone's decisions, so make sury physically, be there! Get over there and even if they're a friend of yours defend her! Don't leave her feeling alone and upset.

Most girls like a lot of those strange complements that guys think are cheesy, like "your eyes are like the starry night." To a guy that's like "What's that supposed to mean? they're black with little white specks in them?" But to most girls it's OH so romantic. But always remember, don't overdo it. It will totally turn them off.

Girls like it when you make them blush after you say something flattering, but don't make her blush for the wrong reason! Sometimes, if you can see their cheeks turning too red and the situation gets a little awkward, you have said something wrong. Change the subject right away to something more casual. NEVER turn away and ignore her for the rest of the day.

If you see your archenemy snogging someone, don't kiss your girlfriend a lot.

When you're with a group of friends look at her and wave. She wants attention. cover her eyes when she's with a group of friends and say guess who. Hug her randomly, tell her she looks great and DON'T HINT we girls sometimes are very stupid, we make mistakes, we're human.

If you kiss them, and its a bad one, don't get that upset about it. Talk to her about it and tell her you can do better, then prove it to her.

WARNINGS

If you get caught in an awkward relationship-threatening situation, such as doing *something* with another without really meaning it that way, don't say "this isn't what you think" or "this isn't what it looks like". Very cliched. Hold her hand, they will pull away, then look them in the eyes and tell them you love them, and that they are the only one for you, and it really wasn't what it looked like, then explain.

Never buy flowers for any other girl unless it's her mother/grandmother.

Never cheat. It remains perfectly understandable that you'll have wandering eyes, but realize where your heart is and stick to that. One time will be enough to convince someone to dump you.

Never hit your mate. Violence is unconditionally unjustified (and punishable by law in many countries). You can hit them teasingly; mates DO NOT like to be babied all the time and never be touched.

Try not to over-do things. Switch things around a lot and you'll keep the excitement that builds a good relationship, though don't be too inconsistent. Doing a common, otherwise boring thing to the extreme is often a good idea.

Never tell them they can not talk to their friends, even if they are guys. In fact, become friends with her friends. They will love you even more for that.

Give them space. They have friends, too, and don't want to be smothered. See above point.

Try not to give them reasons to be jealous. Understand how your actions might look to them.

Do not push them to do anything physical with you. They will most likely let you know when they are ready.

Any boy can wait until someone is ready to do something physical, it takes a man to be chaste even when they don't seem to mind. Don't wait for them to tell you to stop: Ask them. "Is this okay?" is all it takes to make the difference between being the best boyfriend in the world and doing something you both will regret.

Don't be too careful! A mate will appreciate that you are considerate of their limits, but they'll also appreciate a little pushiness. Know them well enough to estimate what will and won't be okay, and if they stop you or says "no" more than once, it's a no. They'll also enjoy you being just a little rough. Pick her up, push her against a wall, pull her hair a little bit. They'll let you know if there's something they don't like.

Never hold their family's actions against them. No one can help what their family does or says. You can share with them that it bothers you what someone might have done or said but leave it alone after that.

Try your hardest to do your part of forgive and forget and let it be. No one likes to be reminded of their mistakes.

Never forget their birthday or other events they will remember (e.g. Valentine's Day,). Saying "Happy birthday" does not cut it; some girls expect gifts for every holiday. If you do not get them something they will remember, but if you do it continusly, they'll think you're cheap! Late is better than never. Cards are better than nothing!

Never tell them about something you almost did for them and then ended up not doing for whatever reason. Like saying 'I thought about getting you this gift, but changed my mind' or 'I was going to take the day off work to spend it with you and then decided it was a bad idea'. They will not think you were thoughtful, they will think you decided they weren't worth it. This is worse than an oblivious boyfriend, because it shows you know how to be romantic and what to do, but don't find them valuable enough. These thoughts are definitely best kept to yourself.

Go their way but people don't like guys who apologize and ask suggestions from them all the time. Sometimes it's just okay lead the way.

Don't embarrass them. Most people, especially if they are teenagers, get embarrassed if you talk about undergarments and things like that. Remember, those sorts of things may be attractive to you, but to them they may be something they don't want to talk about. On the same idea, never tell a funny story about them without her consent, especially if they try to stop, you DO NOT CONTINUE. This will hurt their feelings, as it shows impressing your friends and making them laugh is more important to you than them not having to feel stupid.

Don't try to be perfect, just try to be YOURSELF, and no one else. They'll love you for that. If they don't, then they're not worth your time.

Don't try to be perfect, just try to be YOURSELF, and no one else. They'll love you for that. If they don't, then they're not worth your time.

Don't compare them to your ex mate; it will make them feel inferior.

Never cheat on her. This will make your relationship a lot easier

learn to give her respect and dont like her just becasue she may have a good body thre is so much more in a gril than just her looks.

How to Earn Your Girlfriend's Trust

As relationships progress, we sometimes find girlfriends that just can't stand it when you hang out with friends that are girls, or watch you like a hawk when you're out anywhere.

STEPS

Always be truthful. Even in the situations where even a small lie could get you out of lots of trouble, don't do it. Your partner will find out about everything you do and you will not get away with it.

Be 100% honest, in doing this you will gain your partner's trust.

Make sure your girlfriend finds out first above anybody if you have done anything to mess up. Anytime you hear something bad that your partner did before they tell you, you always presume worse than what it actually is. Friends always distort the truth to your girlfriend, and eventually the truth will get out. Its always better to hear first-hand what happened, and to seek forgiveness then.

Make sure you trust her. Without your trust for your girlfriend, she definitely won't be able to trust you. To know if you trust her, think of situations you would want to do, and if you could see your girlfriend doing those same things. For instance if you wanted to hang out with some girls at the mall, see if you could imagine her doing the same thing with guys. If not, then understand that some things fall beyond trust, including putting yourself into tempting situations.

TIPS

Don't be too judgmental. Always try to see things from her perspective, and ask what is keeping her from trusting you in a particular situation.

RESPECT her feelings. It may seem that she completely doesn't trust you, but she has her own reasons why. For example, she doesn't feel okay with that officemate of yours who often calls you; the best thing to do is introduce her to that officemate so that she will feel secure and this will make her stop doubting.

Be sure that if you've done something wrong, do your best not to do it again. If you saw her sob to death when you did something special to a friend and that particular situation made her think that she's being cheated, STOP doing special things for that friend! Because if you'd keep on proving that you're not doing anything wrong, she might think that you are defending that girl, and she will surely feel disrespected. Girls are very sensitive and they don't like being neglected.

Just because someone doesn't trust you in a particular situation, doesn't mean they don't love you. Always be patient about this issue, its very trying.

Remember: girls love romance. There is nothing a girl likes more than a nice candlelit dinner. Be an outstanding boyfriend and actually think about your girlfriend and her needs. In return, she should do the same